You're The Answer To A Guy Like Me
by Pekenota14
Summary: The reason why Deeks never wanted to have a woman as a partner.


It was late night and the sleep was stubbornly insisting in not show up and drag both Kensi and Deeks to bed. But it was also their fault. The two were fighting fiercely against the sleep because the movie was getting interesting by the second. The plot was getting both attentions, whose eyes were focused on the screen. They didn't even glance at one another. Deeks was sank on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest and once in a while he freed a deeper breath, but that was all. Kensi had her legs pulled up to her chest and the blanket up to her chin. In front of them two beers and an ice cream package were empty and just lying there, forgotten.

With the movie's ending, it also came the weird part of having to leave after being in her house for hours now. Still, because of laziness or something else, Deeks wasn't getting up. He stretched up and both were commenting in a low voice how great that movie was. The sleep seemed to have been kicked away as both let out an amused laughter. They enjoy the movie nights. They like being with each other with no other purpose other than being together outside work hours. Kensi opened the fridge and offered him another beer. He didn't want to leave and she wanted him to stay. He accepted it and looked into the empty street outside. Nothing was moving, not even the leaves on the trees.

"Can I ask you something?" Her voice broke the silence recently settled in the room.

"Do you usually ask permission to ask something?" Deeks eyebrow rose as a cheeky smiled took over his face.

"That's my line. You're the one who never asks permission to ask a question."

"Alright," He said taking a seat next to her on the couch. "I'll just ignore that accusation that was made to me and give you the permission to ask me anything!"

Kensi smiled, but it faded away due to the seriousness of the question. "Why did you never take female partners?"

Deeks let out a sigh… _that_ question. "Honestly or joking?"

"Please, lie to me!"

"Alright! I never wanted a female partner because, let's see this from a practical standpoint: they seem very tough but then they ended up eating chocolate ice cream and sniff every time they watch _Titanic_!" Joking seemed the way to avoid the question.

"Hey!" She let out with a giggle, kicking him. "I don't-"

"Don't even try to deny that you don't cry when Jack leaves Rose! I've seen you wiping your tears over that… several times!"

"I wasn't… I was going to say that that was toffee ice cream!"

Deeks laughed willingly seeing that Kensi wasn't even trying to deny the fact she sniffs while watching Titanic. That was something he loved to see when the two of them are alone. She's honest in a funny and teasing way. But still, Kensi didn't forget her question. He was definitively avoiding it.

"Okay, then if I bother you, why did you take me as your partner?"

"Hetty signed me into NCIS when no one wanted me anywhere. The best I could do was be humble and take whatever it was given to me. But I never thought to get this!" He said while theatrically pointed her up and down.

"Well, I never thought to be getting a whiny surfer boy, but that's what I got!"

"A HOT surfer GUY! Hot. Surfer. Guy."

Kensi grimaced, unable to hide the smile. Yet, the grin disappeared as she insisted on asking again. "Now I'm serious, Deeks. You say we're partners and that we should share everything, and lately you've known a lot about me, and all I want to know is why you never wanted to have _another_ female partner."

"Why now? Like," He got up, hiding the unease and unwillingness to answer that. "it can't wait 'til tomorrow morning? I'm really tired and…" Deeks put the beer over the counter and when he looked back he stopped talking. His eyes met her sad and curious ones, seeking for an answer and he couldn't help but to swallow in dry and sit again. "_It's just this time_, that's exactly how the conversation starts. When you're assigned a partner, you trust that person your life, trust that person to be your second shadow and to have your back when you need it. And, if at first you're just getting to know each other and all is awkward, it gets to the point when you're familiar with each other, you have the ease to joke and tease and even become family."

"Just like us." Kensi concluded.

"Kinda… Because then comes the _It's just this time_ phase. It's been a while since you had a lover, the closeness between you and your partner grows and then she says _It's just this time_. You think The _hell, it's been so long! Better do it with someone I know than with a stranger. _And then things complicate. What was supposed to happen just once becomes often because God, it felt awesome and you can't hold your lust any longer. Eventually one falls for the other and things complicate."

"Who fell for whom?" Kensi asked, already knowing the answer.

"Then she doesn't care and is cold to him, and he's an idiot for not having the strength to walk away. He gets strapped to her and he can't leave… She tells him that it didn't matter a thing and that they should keep professional. Deep down she wanted it too, but she's too by the book. Awkwardness show up again and your judgements start getting affected. There's nothing else you can't do. You feel defeated, powerless and completely drowned in that love feeling. And even though it won't work, that just makes even more desirable. It's risky, it's forbidden, gives you the thrill and anxiety of wanting it. But, just like that, it's all over. She doesn't care and she tells him exactly that… Career is more important, following the rules is way more important. So he walks away… as she wanted."

"Deeks…" That was all she could say after hearing all that. She felt terribly sorry for having asked that question in the first place.

"Still, he promised himself next time wasn't going to be like that… if there was even a next time in being partnered with a woman… And right now, from his standpoint, she was the one who lost. He's so much better now!" Deeks was able to smile again, somehow relieved for finally letting that out.

"What about that next time in being partnered with a woman?" Kensi's eyes were filling up with water. "Is it being the same? Is she pushing away?"

"At first, she was." When he said that he look into her eyes and she avoided the eye contact. "But this time was not going to be like last one… he was going to try harder. Last time, maybe they didn't know each other that well to make it work."

"And how about now?"

"He's still not sure… maybe it's needed a bit more time. She was hurt before and he's sure if he gets hurt again, this time the scar will be much deeper and much more painful… and he knows neither of them will never heal that wound."

"So…" Kensi breathed out, recovering her posture. "is it for the best?"

"It's definitely the best solution… even though he already knows she's the answer to a guy like him… Someday soon they will make it work."

"Someday soon…" She repeated, smiling. "For now her heart is settled and she's relieved in knowing that she's not screwing it up."

"Someday soon…" Deeks got up with the biggest of the smiles he had ever had. "Someday very soon…" Kensi walked him to the door and before walking away he said. "Night, partner."

"Night."

Kensi fell asleep embraced by some sort of warmth, happy to know that she's different, in a good way. It was good to know that she was doing it right this time. Deeks was still with that foolish smile across the face, happy to know that this time was different. It was good to know that he was doing it right this time. Now they both knew about each other's intentions, and they were genuine… and they were the same. Time does really heal all wounds… He doesn't feel any pain from the past, and neither does she. And time does really make things work. He doesn't mind waiting a bit more to have something great and real, and neither does she.

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**Reviews would be amazing...!**


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